We were thinking of going away to Paphos for 3 weeks in January but Janice has at last got wise to my decorating and house maintenance avoidance tactics and decided to start giving the house a facelift instead.
Worse still she has also imposed a calorie controlled diet regime!
Rather than having to prepare and cook my own meals and, somewhat inspired by the Hairy Dieters TV programs, I have been forced to join in and show that I am shedding the pounds.
If you didn't watch the programs there's a book:In case you are interested I have added a link to the recipes from the series at the end of this blog entry.
As you are all aware by now,I didn't get where I am today without a game plan so I have formulated a cunning four point fall back strategy:
Plan A - Low Calorie Nosh but normal liquid intake.
Plan B - Low Calorie Nosh but 50% reduced liquid intake.
Plan C - Low Calorie Nosh but 75% reduced liquid intake.
Plan D - Suicide!
Day one also saw the house facelift starting in earnest with a completely fruitless 3 hours of wandering around B&Qs trying to satisfy madams shopping list only to find either most items out of stock or failure to get two party agreement on choice. Returning home, totally stressed and starving hungry, I was presented with a bowl of clear green vegetable liquid and a Ryvita!
On day three I started a "Guess the Weight" spreadsheet which revealed I had lost 3¼ lbs, so come early doors, flushed with this success and a new found enthusiasm to "do better", (something that apparently I could have done a lot more of in most subjects over 50 years ago, according to my school reports), I jogged to the Fox.
Well I call it jog very loosely - it was more like a geriatric shuffle and is not to be recommended for the slightly overweight, very unfit over 65's.!
On arriving at the door to the public bar I found that my legs had given up the ghost. I fell through the door and had to be propped up onto a stool in the corner of the bar where I remained, attempting to regain my breath, for a full 10 minutes before recovering sufficiently enough to thank the land lady for presenting me with a pint, pay her and take the first delicious mouthfull!
Needless to say I walked (wobbled) home.
The Welsh Bard offered this encouragement:
They’ve had enough of Baltzer! Their paths have reached a fork:
He’s started using silly words like ‘diet’.
Now, when it comes to fitness, he’s hardly one to talk,
And, at the Fox, there’s danger of a riot!
Yes, Chris has started jogging, when he can barely walk,
And they don’t believe that Janice is watching like a hawk,
So fans have reached consensus, from Yately up to York,
Requesting that, in future, he keeps quiet!
He’s started using silly words like ‘diet’.
Now, when it comes to fitness, he’s hardly one to talk,
And, at the Fox, there’s danger of a riot!
Yes, Chris has started jogging, when he can barely walk,
And they don’t believe that Janice is watching like a hawk,
So fans have reached consensus, from Yately up to York,
Requesting that, in future, he keeps quiet!
They don’t want Baltzer slimmer – he’s scarcely gone to seed
(Apart from seed potatoes...), but all this talk of jogging,
And other crazy concepts are not what people need –
It’s time to stop the blasphemies he’s flogging.
As all of them are devotees of indolence and greed,
His fans may be in danger of taking what they read
As gospel, so they think it’s time that Chris should take the lead,
To concentrate on loopy lunar blogging!
(Apart from seed potatoes...), but all this talk of jogging,
And other crazy concepts are not what people need –
It’s time to stop the blasphemies he’s flogging.
As all of them are devotees of indolence and greed,
His fans may be in danger of taking what they read
As gospel, so they think it’s time that Chris should take the lead,
To concentrate on loopy lunar blogging!
It's now day 6 and I've just weighed in at 13st 5lb, making it 5 lbs I have managed to lose so far.
Only 19 more lbs to go!
It's going to be a long six weeks before we go to Portugal again!
Tomorrow we are off to Weston-Super-Mud for a long week-end, a place that we have wanted to visit since watching "The Cafe" comedy series on Sky One last year:
Let's hope Cyril's Cafe is open.
I was a great fan of Bobby Darin in the 60's and the song "Beyond the Sea" is used as the theme song for "The Cafe" series, sung delightfully by Kathryn Williams.
Here's another version by Jeff Lynne, the final track from his new CD "Long Wave":
Pop music at it's best (IMHO)! He's singing and playing every instrument on this CD except the strings.
Hey Ho!
LINK TO HAIRY DIETERS RECIPES:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/search?programmes[]=p00vq8c6
Hey Ho!
LINK TO HAIRY DIETERS RECIPES:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/search?programmes[]=p00vq8c6
