My adventures of last week prompted a significant email response from you.
Inexplicably none of them offered me sympathy. Instead, all of them expressed various degrees of mirth at my misfortunes. What a cynical old world we live in!
However my Welsh chum came up trumps as usual with another poetic masterpiece:
How does Baltzer’s garden grow?
The answer - many want to know,
But evidence is bound to show
Selenic theory’s phooey.
Though Chris’s crops may well amaze,
It’s not because of lunar rays,
But far too many IPAs
And sprinklings of chop suey!
The Ford on Friday afternoon
May keep the Baltzer mind in tune,
But slightly Foxed, and like a loon,
His take-away’s are failures.
Though Chris’s lack of shape and tact
May mean his crackers may be cracked,
He finds the sweet and sour will act
As compost on his dahlias!
Interestingly, since acquiring bread making technology Paul now barters loaves for pints at his local Fox and I suspect has a similar deal in place with the local vicar in exchange for the communional wine, as he markets his products under the banner "Bread of Evans".
For the non-classical students amongst you "Selenic Theory" is a reference to Selene (from the Latin Luna) the Greek goddess of the moon. Apologies to all those academics out there who were already conversant with this fact but having left full-time education at sixteen to pursue a career that would make me rich and famous, (which probably explains why I finished up as a gardener), I had to phone a friend, the Welsh bard himself, for an explanation.
I hate a smart ass!
Incidentally one email I received wanted to know if FFC was related to KFC. He's off my circulation list.
Farnborough Fried Chicken hasn't got the same kind of appeal somehow.
Talking about gardening at last there has been some activity. Spring onion, prize leek, early carrot and sweet pea seed have all been sowed and are tucked up nice and warm in the heated propagator. Early potatoes are chitting up nicely. I will, of course, report on their progress.
I am publishing this weeks episode early in order to alert you to the fact that Saturday (30th) is a full moon day and that you should attempt even less than you did at the half moon.
Above all don't venture out on the streets after dark.
Me, I'm off on a corporate jolly to Aldershot v Grimbsy, which will involve much eating and drinking and, unfortunately, second hand Roy "Chubby" Brown jokes that weren't very funny in the first place.
However, by the evening I will will tucked up in the warm watching one of my top 10 films, "In the Heat of the Night" I think.
I suggest you do the same and might I recommend this everyday story of country folk.
If that doesn't appeal then why not follow my lead with this classic from 1967
Must get a "45" of this song for my juke box.
Hey Ho!
