Being "in Toon" is not just about gardening.
The scope of cover is endless but I have summarised below the areas that will significantly improve your quality of life :
ANIMAL HUSBANDRY
When to cover your mare
When to trim your livestock’s feet
When to mate your rabbits
BEEKEEPING
Work with bees during Air and Fire constellations to benefit the Queen.
WINEGROWING
When to prune
When to harvest
(Haemorrhoid sufferers, please note, treatment and removal of bum grapes is not covered)
When to ferment
When to bottle
HAIRDRESSING (Optional for ageing hippies)
When to cut hair to slow down hair loss (too late for some of you I’m afraid)
When to cut hair to make it thicker and stronger
DEPILATION
Remove unwanted hair when the moon is descending and combine with a waning Moon to slow down regrowth. Obviously a complete waste of time at a Full Moon.
SKINCARE
Squeeze blackheads when the Moon is in the descendent and in an aspect with Venus.
WARTS, CORNS AND CALLOUSES
Know when to treat and remove.
NAILS
When to cut to avoid in-growing toe nails.
TREATMENT OF WORMS
Best treated 2-3 days before the New Moon or 2-3 days before the Full Moon.
TEETH
Avoid any treatment on the upper jaw when the Moon is passing through Aries.
Avoid any treatment on the lower jaw when the Moon is passing through Taurus.
Avoid any kind of fisticuffs during either of these periods.
SURGICAL PROCEDURES
When (i.e. under which Zodiac sign) to perform operations and on which organ.
For instance, surgical procedures on the bladder, urethra, genital organs, prostrate, colon, rectum, pubis and, curiously enough, the nose should be performed when the moon is in the sign of Scorpio. I think you will agree that, for chaps of our advancing years, this alone is a damned good reason to get “Tooned In”. Presumably the time to avoid these procedures is when the moon is anywhere near good old Cancer the Crab!
I could go on but I'm sure by now that you are hooked and can fully understand why “In Toon with the Moon 2010” was at the very top of my Christmas list.
More essential reading tomorrow!
